4 Tips To Help You Achieve A Healthy (& fun) Sex Life!
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old - we grow old because we stop playing” - some old dude (George Bernard Shaw).
Depending on who you are, and what (or who) you’re into, sex can be different for everyone. Depending on the mood, the occasion, or the partner it comes in all forms. Intimate sex, romantic sex, gentle sex, hard sex (hello kinky), quick sex, slow sex, passionate sex: the list goes on. Something we can all agree on however is that, whatever sex you are into, sex should be fun and safe!
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship and have one sex partner (or multiple), one thing is for sure: your sex life is your private business. In order to maintain a healthy sex life, here are 4 easy tips you can follow to improve your sexual satisfaction.
1. Talk it out
Alright, bear with us BDSM fans - we aren’t saying you can’t use a ball gag! All we mean is that having an open line of communication with your partner can amplify your sexual encounters. Communication is key to gaining a new level of connection with your partner (or partners) and improving your sexual chemistry and understanding.
Being able to openly discuss your sexual desires and fantasies, what you like and dislike and other quirky aspects you may want to introduce to the bedroom will ensure a more pleasurable sexual experience for all involved.
There may be some awkward conversations, or you may feel slightly uncomfortable/embarrassed telling your partner one of your fantasies but would you rather feel momentarily uncomfortable or permanently unsatisfied? Also, who really cares? You like what you like and that is probably a part of why your partner wants to sleep with you in the first place!
Finally, open communication can help you set certain expectations as well as boundaries that can help guide the sexual encounter and leave BOTH (or all) parties satisfied and craving more. According to Wendy Maltz (an internationally recognized author, speaker, and sex therapist), both men and women should make informed decisions to promote well-being regarding sexual and mental health.
2. Set the mood
Good things can’t be rushed. And sex is a GREAT thing. In a world where we are constantly rushing around from task to task and looking for instant gratification, let’s take a step back and slow things down in the bedroom. No one wants to be flipped from position to position and have their partner finish before they’ve even got their socks off!
YES, there is always time for a quickie here and there, but for those couples who want to enjoy a healthy sex life, a healthy sex habit would be to dedicate more time to it. Every time you have sex doesn’t have to be a marathon but why not take a bit of time, set the mood and engage in a bit of foreplay to enjoy yourself!
If you and your partner(s) are finding that you are having less and less time to have sex as work/school/other commitments get in the way, then it can be a good idea to set aside a night or two a week just for some alone time.
Now, we're not recommending that all couples send each other calendar invites, because we know how some people operate and next thing you know, your boyfriend has an appointment request every morning and evening for the next year. But for others, setting aside time on your joint calendar is perfectly acceptable and appropriate! What we're getting at is the importance of being intentional.
Studies have also shown that slowing down your sex sessions and developing a deeper connection can help you reach more powerful orgasms if the mood is right. Good things come to those who wait.
3. Try new things
Sexual stigma is slowly being broken down as people begin to realize that EVERYONE has some sort of sexual fantasy. While missionary is considered the ‘conventional’ way to enjoy sex, and there’s nothing wrong with being part of a mission, let’s face it - there are a lot more fun positions out there to try.
An effective way to keep things interesting is by switching it up. Why not buy the Kama sutra, and randomly flip to a page and try that position, or do some research on new sex positions that you can do with your partner?
As we said before, sex should be fun and trying new things can break down barriers with your partner(s) while helping you find something that may surprise you! If you consider yourself a ‘sexpert’ in all positions and want to mix it up in a different way, then why not bring in some role-play and fantasies or try having sex in a new setting (kitchen, shower, garden if you are feeling risky?) There are also games and accessories out there that take the decisions out of your hands and actively encourage you to do new things with your partner for a healthy sex life.
Take a look at this sexual game of truth or dare for example or these kinky sex dice - things like this could be a great place to start. Adding new elements will enrich the sexual experience and increase stimulation and pleasure. If they don’t work the way you pictured them, don’t worry! That is also a step in the right direction.
Don’t be ashamed to express yourself or try new things for your sexual satisfaction. As long as you communicate them with your partner (point 1) ahead of time there is nothing wrong with mixing it up a bit.
4. Keep it running smoothly
“Everything’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me”. Whoever wrote “under the sea” for the little mermaid sure knew what they were talking about. When it comes to having smooth sex, one of your best allies is going to be lube.
Lubes can help to mitigate friction and vaginal dryness, and therefore, allow for more enjoyable (wetter) sex. Not only this but if you’re thinking about entering the back door, lube is the one thing you CANNOT do without. Apply as liberally or excessively as you want there is a plethora of options available to you. Do your research on what type of lube you are looking for (water-based vs silicone) and away you go.
Water based lube is your best bet here. Our range of lubes are 100% edible, vegan, condom compatible and toy friendly so they are good for anything and safe on everything. Also, they come in a variety of different mouth-watering flavors so if oral isn’t usually your thing, they can make your taste buds sing.
One last thing I will say about lube is failure to prepare is preparing to fail. Who knows where your night of passion may lead you? No one has ever regretted having a bottle of lube in their nightstand just in case it’s needed.
By no means is this an exhaustive list or complete guide to having a healthy sex life but it is a start. Making healthier choices in all areas of your life contributes to your long-term mental health and happiness and sex is no different. At the core, both men and women have some basic needs and the list above can help you fulfill some of your basic needs in a healthy (& fun) way.
Remember, everybody has an embarrassing sex story, everybody has a fantasy and everybody feels awkward sometimes. Embrace your differences and quirks, and most importantly, HAVE FUN!